ah i back

wuhooooo i writing blog again....its been a while kan..hmmmmm...yeah hotel industry is really tough life and quite a challenging..anyways a lot of kejadian happen in few month....

about me,i use getting lonely now because every time i admired with girl, she always attach with someone..dah start dah crita pasal lonely ni....hahaha....so that why i afraid to go for it..i lost my confident..oh yaa...this girl really catch my eye...she are too good for me...she cute and i think she suite for me...

i don want to say she is beautiful because word beautiful is like curse word for me..let me explain why i said that....every time i said the word of "beautiful" to women which i admired, tendency 100% i will get broken heart so i decide will not said it to her even deep in my heart she is beautiful..and worst beautiful ladies is out of my league...which mean beautiful women to majority man's eye a not mean to be with me...accept miracle...hahaha....

so to raf opss i said it..hopefully she won read what i just wrote...yes i do admired u but i too afraid and i not good in flirting or what ever suitable word can replace word of flirt...

and to bu...yes we do have share a lot of common...i wan u to move on i scarify a lot of things to u...i wan u to pursue ur dream..u a intelligent and of course u a beautiful and sexy..haha...someone might get wrong or jealous with the bond between us..and he never understand...

wow...i really got my revenge after several month not posting any treat on my blog kan..glad i am back...i promise to update what ever things happen..n sory if i might hurt ppl feeling..i not tense to do that k...bye

empty

the world so empty right now..i can feel it..after receiving degree i had nothing to do beside gather back my money..with empty world with less friend to depend on and i need someone to listen and voice up about my feeling and taking my moment as lonely man..this is me..i being like this because the hotel which i working right now still under construction and the empty time were filling with classes..i waiting for real action..i pray to be located in main kitchen..i really wan to cook proper fine dining food which to be serve to high-end holiday makers..i wan the credit, i wan to create my own guest or fan of my dish..my aim is high i wan to be executive chef in young age then i can continue with my dream to open up my own project..i need to gather knowledge and everything related on the food industry..

but now i was to lonely this kind of feeling can make me not concentrate on my vision.. i need some whom can i speak up to heard my problem to ensure i following my track..i know they(someone in the industry) can see i had a great future..i am young, educated, high spirit, got my own strategy to growth and it's depend on me my self to make it happen..i am different from others who a same age with me..

i inspired by all the makcik2 willing to study even they told me it very hard to adapt process of learning during their age..i advice them there is nothing possible in this world and depend in the individual to say NO or YES on each decision their make..

about my workplace were awesome place..but i miss the action...

tiada bintang di langit

Hmmm....hmmm

langkawi of langkawi

i miss my camera...seriously...but first of all i wan to get any transport so i can explore more on langkawi..then if i got a time i will return to miri seeing my parent, wondering around at my rest house, chasing boat in the morning seeing if any luck getting a lobster nyumm nyummm...hermm damn i miss miri...

i dunno why i feel langkawi is a place for me...the food kinda cheap, cigar cheap...nusantara methol only rm 3.20, one ringgit of cucur pisang u can get ten of it..not so much entertainment..erk i mean i just don't want to explore on entertainment that much..my live here go work back n sleep..not so much involved with social things..langkawi of langkawi...maybe i stay here at least 5 years if i got a car if no maybe less...my target here first is pelangi for starter because i don't have my degree yet and i got a cable..then after a year will be going to westin then later andaman or 4 session then later will join back my friend on city hotel..

after jump 5-6 hotel i will take a rest go for restaurant then later continue to the hotel or apply for master n phd then be a lecturer...insya-allah..

now going bck to use blog as medium to comfort my self

No mood today..dunno wat i thingking rite now..tomorow i gonna walk on the beach..it might help me to reduce my loneliness cewah..sound like im tooo emo..klah gotta sleep..thx for blog for being good listener..thx

new chapter of our life

Journey bcome a great chef juz begun..1 week i been work here as pizza cook..lucky me every chef help me lot..i know they can see my future..they wan me to get in management lvl someday..every day in here is pain for me but i took this prosess as a training by seeking their advice n learning by my heart..i feel to small in this organization..they train me to be mind like businessman by minimize all the expenses not like a school b4..so lucky to hav them..

But i facing this reality alone..when i need her,she won appear..sad for me coz the only women who i wish to share my joy n sadness does not appear when the time for me to comfort my self..i wish she be able to do same thing..i still waiting for this girl to cheers my life

owh like this

so its end like this..okey...

its been a while

i think that its...enough already to kept going telling lie to my heart..i do jelous to imran, i wan u to be my wife, i wan u be beter person, i will do encourage u to pursuite with ur dream..but until when i be like this..6 months of knowing u make my life colourful but until now i notice u a the innocent girl i ever meet..there a to many to of thing should be improve so u will be btr person..either so i..i keep telling u everything not with empty hand..me myself continue to remind me myself to improving become beter person...

basicly we a same..malas, comfort staying at home without doing nothing, having fun, crying baby and so on...but i wan to improve i drag u along with me so we both can be be beter person and hopefully i can win ur heart with my own way...6 month already past by..

i told u human being got self limit..until when they can wait..im not a person who love waiting for result..i only do this to u because i love u...six month is enough for me to know u beter.. i dunno..what action be taken...

love jazz

jazz really make me fly..but i feel older when listening this genre..wat the hack i just listen to this crazy instrument make me feel great.. the harmonic voice direct flowing into the heart..juz make me feel damn relax n calm..so ppl ask me what u listen for i may say wih loud and proud saying LOVE JAZZ..haha listening to mocca right now and i keep listening..their lyric just super awesome..teasing ppl yup always been telling the truth what going around them..i can feel cause it similar things happen to also..

about me today i dunno laaa...right now i crazies with one beautiful girl like i fall in love again..but this feeling is different from before..now i cant resist my feeling on her and always thinks like she always beside me doing the stuff together...crazies right i totally in angau state haha..

yalaa actually its hard to involved in love with someone attach with somebody for long duration...like me she already attach with that soldier bouy for almost 4 years and me 6 month i guest so..last time 4 month ago i just won 30% of her heart but now walaaaa i gain 19% more so totally 49% haha so cool rite..im hepy wat..pedulilaa what ever ppl think i crazy enough..just trust my self and let be me my self..

feeling ooo feeling...what a crazies thing happen to me..

glace of her ^_^


when we was young~

i dunno what i thinking right now

sigh...this things tingling my brain..

today i am happy person..yalaaa i can meet her for such a long time and meet her mom ever more..yeah for sure her mom like me...that what i thinking... we share joke, we laugh, they talking family issue front of me treat me as one of them..fun...

i realize few hint.her mom saying "nnt kena ada 5 drawer 1 for u n rest for ina" the she silent, me either...my inner voice said omg..and during makan2 she said about his cousin got married with sarawakian ppl and she fine with it and few more la..i assume that was a green light for me..

now i just wait for ina..i know she got double feeling with me..its okey..i still waiting..dunno until when..yeah i done some mistake today..hopefully she forgive me...okeh let focus..i got exam tomorow so i need study like a smart person..i already know i will not perform this paper..so why i so worried that much..i just aiming for past. if i go an A it was bonus for me..neways i already cover 5 chapter got 7 more chapter to go..ganbate..i do my best..

n miri wait me i will coming soon..miriiiiiiiiiiiiiii

reverse thinking...complexity to simplicity thats was me

rite i am sitting at MCD wondering things to write.i juz wan to clear up my mind for today so by any chance i read this treat again its remind of me for tonite..get ready to get brain damage if u think cannot accept the way of i thinking...and its ur rite to say im wrong and u can voice out anything u wan..but think wisely about the statement...

1)everyone thinks them self a totally rite
2)expression by face can conclude everything in any situation
3)the best option us trying to blame other ppl to cover up their mess
4)most of ppl will judge ppl from outside n not trying not to understand how the situation that contribute to stress..
5)not everyone can control them self in a rash condition
6)ppl a tend to talk bad rather than good
7)its hard to forgive ppl
8)brain is a give from Allah S.W.T to human

i love to thinks that create how is me rite now..so hard to find ppl which really understand me..im 23 years old..still young..i know that..the art of how i thinks a bit different from other ppl near my age..i don't care how ppl judge me? i believe they tot i hav problem in my brain..i love to look at things which a ppl ignore on it and people a not realize it at all..ppl will never understand me..i will not blame ppl when looking at me tot i am weak,fragile, easy to manipulate and if i end my life being single, i have no regret..m i crazy enuff..yeap..i admit...deal wan c i change..let it be..

sigh what a week day make me weak

yup too many assignment need to be done in this week when i count it must be 4 to 5 assignment on progress..im over stress rite now. seriously beg to all people around me don't trigger my emotion right now. don't let my satan out from my inner body. believe me so u won be regret.

owh ya i taking advise from my lecturer to create another blog related to food..yup my last project which does not longer. but i must create one as become my propfolio.. something i learn during i study..right now im deciding name for new blog.. to many project right now dunno which one to start and all important..sigh~

philosophy

there were many things i learn during all the journey that i gone to. i had realize the idea of creation of different characteristic of human being base on 3 thing. which are yes, no and maybe.this things come by opportunity and choice that bring to decision of yes, no and maybe. for me yes and no is come from our choice but maybe something that unthinking able happen us. opportunity come by choice which we decide by yes and no. what ever decision on yes and no will created another link which come by another choice. base on decision we make it will be develop a characteristic which a different and uniq from other people. maybe is something that uncontrollable by all that mean what ever decision on yes and no will be carry us to the goal that we wanted so much turn to otherwise. simple situation, i studies in hotel line aim to be a great chef but come the time i end up with my life not become a chef but be a pilot. something out of bond on what we doing to achieve something which the payment on what we doing turn to otherwise.

a song for black cat Kuroneko No Tango

salam to all great gemoks fan..ahaks i dunno if i got fans maybe few of my fren a following my blog..thx...

nothing really amusing happen during my raya. for me this year raya is fun but not really that fun fun i mean super duper fun funn..what else greater celebrating raya with mom and dad beside u..what else greater when first syawal seating with family members eating and fighting for best lemang, ketupat, klupis(similar like ketupat but it was wrap by daun palas)and our special sup- sup payau(kijang)...i miss that...

neway abaout keroneko no tango song..its was too cute and i decide to post on my blog..cute n funny coz the boy singing this song is trying for the best to sang on making a perfect song..u can feel it if u hear to song..its was a nice song and damn funny..credit to Mas for giving me this great song..thx thx

Kimi wa kawaii, Boku no kuroneko
Akai ribonga, Yoku ni au yo
Dakedo tokidoki, tsume wo dashite
Boku no kokoro wo nayamaseru
Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Bokuno koibito wa kuroi neko
Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Neko no me no you ni, kimagureyo
Lalalalalala lala
nyaao

Suteki na kimi ga, machi wo arukeba
Warui doraneko, koe wo kakeru
Oishii esa ni, ikaretchatte
Atode naitemo, shiranai yo
Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Bokuno koibito wa kuroi neko
Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Neko no me no you ni, kimagureyo
Lalalalalala lala
nyaao

Yoru no akari ga, minna kietemo
Kimi no hitomi wa, gin no hoshi yo
Kirakira hikaru, kuroneko no me
Yoru wa itsumo, Kimi no mono sa
Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Bokuno koibito wa kuroi neko
Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Neko no me no you ni, kimagureyo
Lalalalalala lala

Kirakira hikaru, kuroneko no me
Yoru wa itsumo, Kimi no mono sa

Kuroneko no tango, tango, tango
Bokuno koibito wa kuroi neko
Dakedo anmari itazura suruto
Aji no himono wa (nyaao)
Oazukeda yo
Lalalalalala lala

awesome...

picture of my niece

my tok jah...candit picture ghehe

aku menanti kehadiran dia saban hari

sunyi sunguh jiwa ini tanpa kehadiran dia..tp aku harus menelani ia juga..tp takala syawal tiba terubat hati ini apabila lensa camera ku berbunyi merakam segala aksi dan ragam orang di sekeliling aku..anak buah aku terutamanya begitu gamat beraksi di depan lensa kameraku..aku hanya insan yang duka dan sunyi terubat girang melihat telatah anak saudara aku yang kini genap 17 orang..tak sangka cucu tok khatijah begitu productive..itulah kiraan sepupuku..

terasa pegun melihat pengikutku sebanyak itu..bilakah aku pula yang menambah nombor yang semakin bertambah..melihat kegembiraan itu menbuat aku ketawa kecil dan tersenyum..anak-anak buah aku begitu menyayangi aku, berebut-rebut datang kepadaku setibanya aku tiba di sisi mereka..aku begitu manja terhadap mereka begitu juga mereka melayani aku..pakcik alem itulah gelaranku..

anak-anak kecil tidak takut terhadapku, mereka rela di dukung oleh ku berbanding orang lain takala pertama kali bertemu..lembut dan dan gebu kulit bayi berusia berapa bulan aku belai dan ku bawa kesana kemari bermanja-manja dengan mereka..terasa begitu selesa...tidak dapat aku gambarkan dengan tulisan semata-mata..apa yang aku ingin sampaikan apabila melihat mata anak-anak kecil ini begitu bersinar..itulah recruit penyikut baruku..

kembali ke raya pertama aku berada di perantauran..aku beraya dengan keluarga teman..detik pertama kali aku bersalaman dengan ahli keluarga itu perasaan kekok melandai kelibat hati kecilku..aku tabahkan diri supaya dapat menyuaikan keadaan sekeliling..mujurlah aku sudah biasa dengan keadaan seperti ini..ini bukan pertama kali aku menbuat lawatan seperti ini..

apa yang menbuatku tersenyum adalah sudah menjadi tradisi aku mengakhiri lawatan aku dengan menikmati juadah satey..seingatku saat perpisahan ketika lawatan aku ke kuantan diakhiri dengan juadah satey..aku tersenyum kecil..

adakah jalan hidup aku ini menceriakan diriku..jawapan iya mahupun seketika..aku adalah lelaki, lelaki secara lumrahnya inginkan pasangan yang berlainan jantina..aku mahukan kehadiran wanita yang menbawa seri kepada hidupku..aku mahukan seorang isteri yang membinbing aku ke jalan yang di rehdai Allah S.W.T. aku mahukan keberkatan dari sang pecipta yang maha esa..aku cumalah manusia biasa..

kembali menjadi rider pada jam 2pagi

recently i being me juz like last semester which mean becoming morning rider..juz feel love riding my moto during early morning with no jacket..i dunno to describe dat feeling but help me to think n think n do more thinking..love doing that

Enuff about that..

Im inpatient to go travel right now..eager back to the long distant road which i enjoy to do...such a lovely place to visit..i juz cant wait..bless me during my journey

fix it fix it

recently i almost forget where i put my stuff even i also left my stuff in far away fromm me such my 18mm-55mm lens i think i left it in kelana jaya then my jacket i accidentally left it at my friend house somewhere in Klang. What else..owh yaa today i almost left my sweater in my class..so i need to fix it...owh ya please fix this too emmm i losing with my roommate 6 time in row playing that bloody chess.. damn it

second post on 090909

To Nur Mazlina Ramli,

Dear,
I try my best to gain my happiness back but its keeping me fails. When involving with feeling its seems very hard to be cure. You know how is my feeling between you and me. How can i just forget that easy and if i do that i will be a man with no feeling. Its may took time to be cure. Just give me few day to get calm, not me alone its include you too my dear. Don't blame your self, its not your fault but us. Us who a create this mess. Enough torture your body and soul. how can i get my smile back if you in that condition. Promise me to smile like we do before. promise that..

your ......,
mok

adakah aku menjadi seperti dulu..ohh tidak

dulu sebelum blog ini bernafas aku juga menulis blog.tetapi blog tu aku sudah lupuskan dari kelibat kehidupan aku. mana tidak blog itu menulis cerita kesidahan aku. lebih banyak menceritakan keperitan hidup sebagai seorang manusia bernama Mohammad Halim Jeinie. aku tidak mahu lagi menceritakan kisah-kisah hidup aku yang perit itu. aku sendiri muak dengan penulisan seperti itu. bagi aku sampah takala ketika itu blog adalah tempat aku melepaskan duka lara yang aku hadapi. aku tak nak peristiwa itu berulang. sedangkan ketika ini aku melakukan perkara yang sama ketika aku sunyi seperti kehidupan aku sebelum ini. aku tidak mahu meraih simpati atau menarik perhatian orang lain. tetapi inilah medium aku meluahkan segala-galanya.

aku manusia yang tidak pandai bertutur. kata-katakan mampu menbunuh orang tetapi penulisan aku boleh menghiburkan orang. itulah aku...bagi aku menulis adalah dari isi hati sedang kan bila kita bertutur banyak aspek yang perlu di jaga. orang ramai menaggap aku kejam apabila aku bercakap. aku lebih banyak bercakap bedasarkan logik akal dan fakta. aku banyak kali bertengkar dengan sahabat-sahabat aku kerana sifat aku yang tak mudah di tundukan.aku tidak pandai meluahkan isi hati aku dengan bertutur. aku lebih suka menulis kerana menulis lebih banyak menberikan aku masa untuk berfikir. aku lebih tenang menulis.itulah kelemahan aku.

aku dah merepek dan aku tak tahu apa yang aku tulis di atas..aku penat...